Enemy Vessels
by Smenzer
Summary: A unique Luke Vader story that involves Japanese Monsters. Whenever Luke gets near a radar screen he makes giant monsters! What will Vader do? Gamera and Godzilla! Very funny! kaiju
1. Chapter 1

Title: Enemy Vessels!

Author: Smenzer

Email: None

Rating: PG

Archive: Yes, please. If you want to put this on a web page please let me know.

Teaser: Luke is the radar officer on Executor's bridge but has a few problems. A funny Luke Vader story.

Disclaimer: The characters are not mine. They belong to George Lucas and Fox. This is just for fun.

"Luke," Darth Vader said as he called his son over to one of the empty seats on the bridge of Executor. "You will work the radar today."

"The radar?" Luke asked as he peered with curiosity at the round screen his father was pointing at. "I never used a radar before…"

"It is easy, Son." Vader motioned for the young Jedi to sit in the chair before the noisy circular screen. Once the boy was seated, he breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn't sure how Luke could get into so much trouble and he hoped the new assignment would keep him occupied for a while. "All you do is watch this screen. If you see anything on it, announce it immediately. Just do not fall asleep! You must keep an eye out for enemy vessels."

"Well, that sounds easy enough." Luke admitted, slightly relieved. He knew working on the bridge was a big responsibility and that he didn't really have the proper training to be there. Yet he wanted to be with his father so for the time being this was the best they could do. Curious, he studied the radar screen. A big long line, like the handle on a clock, kept going around and around. And something was making beeping sounds, too. There was a dot in the middle and Luke poked at it with a finger. "What's this dot?"

"That is our ship." Vader explained. The job was foolproof. "Just _don't fall asleep_!"

"I won't!" Luke promised as he watched Vader walk away. He glanced around the bridge a bit and was relieved that no one was watching him. Being Lord Vader's son might make relations with the other bridge personnel a bit tricky. He'd have to prove his worth to them, that he had gotten this job for his own skill. Turning his face back to the round screen, Luke stared at it. Ten minutes had passed and nothing appeared on his screen. The long line just kept sweeping around and around, hypnotizing him. His chin started to droop and his eyelids grew heavy. Then with a sudden jerk he woke up.

/I must not fall asleep/

Luke started to tap his foot and sing a song within his head. He had had a pleasant conversation with Ben's ghost last night and the spirit had taught him how a lovely song called _Come What May_. It was amazing really that a spirit could sing so well. Feeling wider-awake, Luke kept both of his eyes peeled to the radar. Then his stomach lurched upward and the song was instantly forgotten. _Something_ was on the radar and it was rapidly approaching the ship!

"There's a GIANT FLY approaching the ship!" Luke cried in horror as he watched the fly crawl across the radar screen.

Startled gasps and a few chuckles were heard from all parts of the bridge. Then it grew as silent as a tomb as Vader hurried to his son's side.

Darth Vader bent forward, his mask peering at the radar screen. He noticed the little fruit fly slowly making its way across the screen's surface and he sighed. "Luke, you are not supposed to report insects crawling _on_ the screen. Shoo the fly away or must I Force-choke it?"

"Oh." Luke's face burned red with embarrassment. How could he have been so _stupid_? And if his father killed the fly, why, the crew would think him a real helpless baby! "I'm sorry! I just got carried away, I guess. It seems like forever I sat here watching the radar…"

"It's been twenty minutes, Luke." Vader dryly stated.

"Is that all? Geez!" The young Jedi frowned and waved his hand at the fly. "Go away! Shoo! Shoo!"

"Don't fall asleep, Luke." Vader reminded and then returned to his favorite area of the bridge, before the tall windows. He pondered where the boy had even found a fly on Executor and came up blank.

Luke waved his hands at the fly and it took off to the air. Buzzing, it flew behind the Jedi and landed on the back of his collar. Crawling upward, it soon made its way towards his nose. It tickled his nostrils as it crawled and the need to sneeze soon built up within him.

"AAH-AAH-AAH-CHOOOO!" Luke sneezed loudly, mucus from his nose spraying all over the radar. One particular clump formed a long line that ran more or less vertical across the screen. It was curved as well and appeared a tad snake-like. The Jedi re-opened his eyes and wiped his nose with his sleeve. Then he spotted the new items on his screen.

"There's a GIANT SNAKE approaching the ship!"

More loud snickers broke out across the bridge, the crew enjoying the rare break from the never-ending monotony.

Vader stalked back towards the radar his long black cloak trailing behind him. Now what had the boy seen? "Luke, what is it this time? I assure you there are no giant snakes out in space!"

"LOOK!" Luke pointed at the long trail of mucus that was sitting on the radar screen. "It's right there!"

The only sound was Vader's loud breathing. Finally the Sith Lord spoke. "Luke, that is mucus from your nose. Wipe it off. And please, use a _tissue_."

"Oh." Luke accepted the offered tissue and wiped the screen clean. Once it was clean, Luke was unsure what to do with the tissue so he stuck it into his pocket. What if he were to sneeze again? "I'll get the hang of this sooner or later….

/I hope/

More time passed and for Luke it seemed it was crawling at the pace of a snail. His eyelids started to droop again and a new sound woke him before he dozed off. Peering closer at the screen, he saw the pale green image of something on the radar. Cautious from his previous mistakes, he attempted to rub it off with a finger but it seemed to be under the glass of the screen. Could it be he had finally _found_ something? Studying the shape, Luke grew excited.

"There's a GIANT TURTLE approaching the ship!"

Loud guffaws broke out and several officers slapped their thighs.

"Luke…" Vader said as he once again turned away from his favorite windows. He couldn't imagine what the boy had mistaken for a turtle. Fingerprints, perhaps? If this kept up he'd have to move him elsewhere…

"LOOK!" One of Executor's crew shouted as he pointed to the main viewer at the very front of the bridge.

Lord Vader turned just in time to see the giant turtle fly past the windows. It was huge in size and its back was covered with hard, raised scales. Its mouth was partly open with a pair of white tusks sticking up from its bottom jaw. As it flew past, its eyes kept moving up and back as it scanned the area around it for the slightest sign of danger. Then the turtle tucked in its head, legs and feet into its shell and long columns of flame appeared. Spinning rapidly, the giant sea creature vanished into the depths of space at an incredible speed.

Everyone on the bridge gaped open-mouthed at the screen, unbelieving.

Snapping out of his shock, Vader hurried to his son and gripped Luke by the shirt. Pulling the boy to his feet, he started to drag him towards the nearest lift. "I think you've had enough time on the radar, Luke. You're starting to create monsters now!"

"But … but … I didn't do that!" Luke protested as he was dragged along unwillingly. "It was there! You saw it!"

"Likely story, Son." Vader didn't know _how_ Luke had done it, but it was best to keep him far away from the radar screen. "I've been in space since I was a kid and I've never seen anything like that!"

Luke tried to dig his heels into the smooth floor and stubbornly clung to the nearest chair as realization dawned in his eyes. "That was GAMERA! I didn't know he was real! I want to see him! Let go of me!"

Vader pulled harder, using his mechanical droid arms until the chair was yanked from the floor, bolts and all. Then Luke and the broken chair were hauled kicking and screaming into the lift. The doors slid closed.

"GAMERA!"

The End

Disclaimer: Gamera is not mine. He belongs to A.D. Visions, Inc and Daiei, NH (or whoever owns the rights to him). For those who don't know him, Gamera is the giant flying turtle from Japanese monster movies. He is a friend to children and helps save the planet from other monsters. And no, he never made a movie with Godzilla.


	2. It Followed Me Home!

Enemy Vessels 2

Chapter 2: It Followed Me Home

Author's Note: I really intended for this story to be a One-Shot but I got another crazy idea. I suppose I could upload it as a new story but since the theme is the same as this one, it might be more fitting for it to be added onto this story. You may think of this as a separate One-Shot if you wish… Oh, and you can blame this on the fact that I was watching _Godzilla vs Megaguirus_ the other day. Yes, I like to watch Japanese monster movies. And remember, this is meant to be humor.

Disclaimer: Godzilla is not mine. He belongs to Toho.

Coruscant

Darth Vader sat before his computer monitor, not seeing the words on the screen. It had been a month since Luke had somehow created that monster turtle by using the radar and he _still_ hadn't figured out how the boy had done it. His son had wailed and moaned about the giant sea creature, loudly proclaiming he wanted to see it again but had finally shut up. Luckily, he had managed to control his temper and hadn't Force-choked his only heir. Why anyone in the right minds would actually _want_ such a creature was beyond him! The Sith Lord thought of the severe damage it could inflict to a populated area just by walking about and shivered. He yet had to write a report on the incident but had been putting it off, a very uncharacteristic thing for him. Nothing normally fazed him and he boldly trudged through it all, but a giant turtle? How was he to explain the sighting to the Emperor? Would the man even believe him? He himself doubted it some days and pondered if it had been a mass delusion created by Luke. Still, since the first sighting they hadn't seen it again.

"And Luke, Luke had been kept far from the radar…" Vader glanced around the room. He was once again on Coruscant in his castle. And to keep Luke busy, he had assigned him a mission that even he couldn't goof up: to buy some bread from the nearest bakery. At least, he hoped the boy couldn't goof it up. Radar was supposed to be foolproof as well and the entire bridge crew knew how that had gone. Rising from his chair, Vader moved to the window and peered out. The Coruscant skyline looked as it always did: busy air traffic flowing through the tall skyscrapers amid a few fluffy white clouds. It was a busy, bustling day without a dark cloud in sight. Turning his helmeted head this way and that, he peered at the traffic closely. The Force was hinting that something was going to happen soon, something bad. Amid loud mechanical breathing, Vader tightened his hand into a fist. "And Luke will be the center of it all…"

Turning on his heel, Vader strode out of his home office, his black cape flowing behind him.

000

Luke emerged from the bakery, shopping bag of bread in one hand. He had been a bit overwhelmed by the huge selection of bread available and so he had bought several different types of loaves. Where he had grown up near Anchorhead, he had been lucky to have even one type of bread. Grain didn't grow very easily in Tatooine's harsh desert environment amid all the sand. When the winds blew the sand moved and tended to cover anything in its path. But Tatooine was far away and he was on Coruscant now, the center of the Empire. Pausing just outside the bakery's door, Luke took a moment to admire the beauty of the huge city. This was his first visit to the planet and he was awestruck by the sight. Never in his greatest daydream did he imagine a city so awesome! The buildings seemed to disappear into the very clouds high above and traffic smoothly flowed in every direction, sunlight reflecting off both the buildings and the various types of airspeeders. Some residents claimed the city had been much grander in the days of the Old Republic, but to Luke – a young moisture farmer from the Outer Rim – this was astounding. He had stayed up most of the night gazing out his new bedroom window at the incredible sight of Coruscant at night; possibly one of the most beautiful things he had ever seen.

The heavy bag of bakery pulled at his wrist and Luke snapped out of his reverie. That and he was getting a kink in his neck from gawking up at the structures around him. The last thing he wanted was to be labeled as a tourist. If he learned anything from his encounter with the Tuskan Raiders, it was that there were unscrupulous people out there who would be all to glad to rob him. He needed to prove to his father that he was dependable and thus he needed to bring the bread home. His blue eyes shifting around the street and he sighed in relief at the stormtroopers on the nearby corner. If some lowlife attempted to steal his bread the stormtroopers would arrest them.

Whistling a merry tune, Luke started a slow walk back towards his father's castle. From here he could see the big hulking building that Darth Vader called home. It towered over all the other structures and Luke gawked at it in wonder. He still couldn't believe that his father was not only alive but wealthy as well. Only Palpatine's castle was taller but that fact didn't matter to Luke. After Anchorhead and Mos Eisley, even the shortest building to him was a skyscraper. As he had walked to the bakery, Luke had enjoyed gazing into all the store windows along the way. Countless items were on display, many in fancy arrangements. Deciding he should cross the street so he could peer into more windows, Luke did just that.

And thus in was in the third window across the street that Luke run into trouble.

"Ran's Radical Radars…" Luke read out loud as he pressed his face against the glass. Nestled amid a background of blue shiny cloth sat a big round radar, a long black wire disappearing into the store. The long handle swooped around and a soft beeping sound could be heard. Stooping a tad lower, Luke focused his full attention on the radar. "Let's see, the little dot in the center is, uh, this store I guess. Or maybe it's the city? But the city covers the whole planet so…."

As Luke pondered the new mystery, a faint green blob appeared on the radar. The Jedi's blue eyes widened in surprise as he stared at it and waited for it to take on a recognizable shape, as in the past he had seen a giant fly, snake and turtle. Fascinated, Luke pressed his face even closer, his nose almost flattened painfully by the glass. His bag of bread dropped onto the sidewalk and rested between his two feet, one hand still idly clutching the plastic handles. Ever so slowly the green blob metamorphed into an upright lizard shape, complete with head, long tail and two strong legs.

"Wow!" Luke cried as he continued to gawk at the radar, totally oblivious to the fact that the ground was trembling underfoot. "I wonder what it is?"

The ground shook harder as an impact tremor ran through it, knocking the stormtroopers on the nearby corner off their feet. One trooper pointed at something further down the street and all four of them screamed. Climbing to their feet, they quickly dashed for safety.

Luke blinked his eyes and watched the stormtroopers frantically running for their lives. He shrugged and stood up straight, his back making loud popping noises as he straightened out his spine. "Hmm, I guess they spotted a pickpocket on a nearby street. It's nice to know they take their duty so seriously around here. One wouldn't want to live in a bad neighborhood…"

Picking up his bag of bread, Luke started walking again towards Vader's castle and almost tripped over a deep crack in the sidewalk. His boot tip got caught on the uplifted hunk of cement and he just managed to catch his balance before he fell on his face. Frowning, the young Jedi stared at the huge crack in disgust. "Boy, I would think they would fix something like that. A person could kill themselves while just out for a stroll…"

Deciding he best return to the side of the street where he had walked the first time, he paused at the curb to look for ways for traffic. Sure, the traffic was supposed to stay in the air lanes but it paid to be careful. The direction towards Vader's castle was clear but in the other direction…

Some huge _thing_ was blocking the road and Luke stared dumbly at it. It almost appeared to be a big rock and the ground underneath it was all cracked. Had a meteorite fallen to the ground while he had looked at the radar screen? Suddenly remembering the huge lizard shape he had seen, Luke looked _up_….

000

"Father!" Luke called excitedly as he rushed into the castle. "Father!"

Darth Vader appeared instantly from another room, his mood dark and edgy. He still had that bad feeling that something was going to happen but he didn't know what. Now upon seeing that Luke was all right a cool breeze of relief swept through him. The boy was all right. "Yes, what is it Luke?"

"The most extraordinary thing happened on the way home from the bakery!" Luke cried as he tossed the bag of bread onto a nearby chair. "I was just strolling along and then it happened!"

Vader sighed. "What happened, Luke?"

"I found a pet!" The young Jedi cried with bubbling happiness. "I mean, it followed me home! Can I keep it? Please?"

Within his mask, Vader rolled his eyes. It had never occurred to him that Luke might want a pet. With ships docking on Coruscant from over a thousand worlds, the wildlife roaming the streets could be endless. Who knows what the boy might have found? Turning his masked face this way and that, Darth Vader scanned the room for an animal and didn't see any. "Where is this so-called pet?"

"Oh, it's outside!" Luke replied. Reaching out, Luke gripped Vader by his wrist and started hauling him towards the door. "I left it in the backyard. Wait until you see it. It's the coolest animal ever!"

Vader allowed himself to be pulled outside and for a moment he wondered why sirens were blowing in the distance. Making a mental note to look into the matter later, he stood near the backdoor and swept his gaze across the backyard. For some unknown reason, someone had dumped a huge rock in his backyard. The rock was enormous, whitish in color and came to a blunt tip. And behind that rock there was a yet larger one, the second being a greenish-gray. For the life of him, Vader couldn't figure out where these odd rocks had come from or why there were now in his backyard. And those annoying sirens were getting louder. Turning, the Sith Lord looked at Luke. "Well, where is this animal? I only see some huge rocks that someone dumped in my backyard…"

"Oh! Those aren't rocks!" Luke exclaimed as he hurried over to them and pointed at the white one. "This is my pet's _toenail _and this is his _toe_."

Vader gawked blankly at Luke as his mind attempted to struggle with what he had just heard. That white rock couldn't be a toenail! It was bigger than a human, bigger than a Wookie…

Ever so slowly Vader tilted his helmeted head backward, his gaze going up and up. When he did so he noticed that the large rocks did indeed have a huge leg above them … make that a pair of legs. The legs were covered in thick scales that gave them the appearance of very rough rocks. And up higher, there was a body with a pair of small arms. And higher still, a neck and a lizard-like head with an outward protruding jaw filled with razor sharp teeth! A pair of yellow eyes watched his every move, the black pupils beady black dots. And then the thing opened his mouth and made some awful ear-splitting sound. Vader instinctively covered his ears with both droid hands, a useless effort since he was wearing a mask and helmet. He had left Luke alone for only an hour and the boy had created another monster!

"Luke!" Vader intoned strictly as fear built inside him. "Get away from that monster before it steps on you!"

"That's my pet!" Luke insisted as he patted the big toenail. "It likes me. I can tell. He told me his name is Godzilla…."

Vader moaned loudly. Palpatine's training had never prepared him for anything like this! What's a Sith Lord to do?

The End?

Author's End Note: I'm sure most parents have heard the dreaded 'it followed me home' from kids. Why not Vader? And although I'm sure Godzilla would be short when compared to the size of Coruscant's buildings (?) he's still huge when compared to people. And no, he didn't do any major damage to Coruscant; just crack some roads due to his weight.


	3. Power Failures!

Enemy Vessels 3

Enemy Vessels 3

Emperor Palpatine carefully stepped out of the shower and glanced down at his bony, hairy legs. The dark hair was so thick and bristly that his legs resembled hairbrushes instead of human limbs, each individual hair poking outward and fighting for space. Deciding it was time to shave once more, Palpatine pulled out his Industrial Strength Shaver and plugged it into the nearby outlet. Lifting a leg carefully to set it on top of his toilet lid, he flipped the ON switch on the electrical razor.

Nothing happened.

"Drat!" Palpatine complained loudly, his yellow teeth flashing as he shook the instrument angrily, hoping that it would start humming as it was supposed to. He had wanted to go sit by his pool now that summer had come to Coruscant but how could he with his legs resembling a wookie? "It's that darn power failure again!"

Coruscant had been having many major power failures in the last month and no one knew exactly why. There were plenty of power plants busy making power, more than the entire planet could ever use. Yet on many days the power was just sucked out of the grid going, well, no one knew where it was going. Palpatine had even missed his favorite holoshow the other night, Sinister Siths. And if there was anything that made Palpatine's blood boil, it was missing Sinister Siths.

The technicians had tried to track it and the bleed seemed to be coming from the heart of downtown Coruscant, but that made no sense. That area was mostly taken up by Palpatine's and Vader's castles plus a few other high-ranking people or office complexes. None of them could possibly use that much electricity no matter how many gadgets they plugged in.

The Sith Lord frowned as he pulled on his dark Sith Robe over his bony body. Darth Confundus was staying with his father and if anyone had a knack for making trouble, it was he! But surely even the boy couldn't use so much electrical power. It was just impossible.

Wasn't it?

000

Luke Skywalker strolled out into Darth Vader's backyard, a heavy power cable in his gloved hands. The cable was immensely thick and he had to use the Force to carry it, as it was almost larger than he was tall. But he had to feed his pet.

Luke had been thrilled when Darth Vader had told him he could keep Godzilla. The truth was Vader had no idea how to remove such a large creature so it was simply easier to let it stay. The giant monster was in the courtyard surrounded by Vader's Castle so passersby's couldn't see it. The last thing Vader wanted was word getting back to the Emperor of the monstrous reptile Luke was keeping as a pet. Of course, it was a mystery as to how Luke had gotten it into the courtyard...

Some things were best left unasked.

Vader just thanked the Sith that the thing kept its mouth shut and didn't make that awful sound as it had the very first time he had seen it. The day that had happened, he had been deaf for two days and every window in the castle had broken at once. And they were supposed to be unbreakable windows, totally shatterproof! But he had cashed in on his Insurance Policy and the windows had been repaired without costing him a credit. Still, his nerves were a wreck as he was constantly worrying what the monster might do. Its body was large but it had a brain smaller than a peanut. And that was a recipe for disaster.

Of course, have Luke around was plenty disaster by itself. It's why the Emperor called Luke "Darth Confundus".

"Look what I have, Godzilla! It's lunch time!" Luke called happily to the giant monster, totally fearless. The monster turned its head and peered down at him with black beady pupils. Spotting the power hose, he eagerly opened his mouth and Luke used the Force to float the hose up to him. Then the big greenish-gray monster gripped the hose like one does a straw and started to suck electricity.

000

"Nooooooooo!" Palpatine cried angrily as the lift he was in suddenly stopped between floors. He pounded his fists on the control panel, his eyes growing redder by the minute. "Not again! Start, you darn lift! I command you to go!"

But the lift refused to move a single inch.

Palpatine glowered and reached out with the Force. If he could just unhook the safety gizmo that held the lift in place, it should start to descend down the shaft, as he desired it to.

CLICK!

The safety unhooked and the lift started to drop, Palpatine chuckling in glee. But his snickers soon died off as he felt himself picked up off the floor to be crushed up against the ceiling. The lift was falling too fast now!

"Noooooo! Stop!! Stop!! I command you to stop!"

The lift stopped suddenly as Palpatine squeezed the brake with the Force and he was slammed back onto the floor. The door whooshed open onto a dark corridor, the Sith Master crawling out on his hands and knees. Once in the relative safety of the darkened corridor, he collapsed gratefully onto the floor. Every bone and muscle in his body was aching something awful and he could feel blood dripping out of his broken nose.

Then the loud THUMP THUMP THUMP of marching stormtroopers came from down the hall. Palpatine waved an arm weakly from where he lay, signaling he needed help. But the hall was black from the power failure and they couldn't see him. The first row of troopers tripped over his prone body and fell atop him. Then the second row fell atop the first and so forth.

"AAAAAIIIIIiiiiiiiii!!" Palpatine shrieked from under the heavy pile of stormtroopers. "Get off me, you imbeciles!! I'm your Emperor! How dare you crush me!"

Truly furious, Palpatine blasted them down the hall with the Force.

000

Luke was having a great time with his pet. Now that he had fed Godzilla, he was busy washing him with a hose. He had bought a book on reptiles earlier from the bookshop and had read that they needed to keep their scales damp. So he took the hose and sprayed cold water up onto his pet. Godzilla loved the icy cold water and closed his eyes in pleasure. Of course, it was a really huge hose he had borrowed from the Coruscant Fire Department. An ordinary garden hose would never do as Godzilla was so incredibly big and it took a ton of water to get him thoroughly soaked, the water soaking into his skin and scales.

000

Palpatine weakly crawled on hands and knees into a nearby mens' room, having to pry the door open with the Force. Finding his way by feel, he swore as he banged his foot into a toilet store and then fell over a trashcan some imbecile had left sitting out in the open. Picking himself up again, he made his way to the sink. Feeling around in the dark, he found the faucet and then turned the knob for water.

Nothing happened.

So he twisted it the other way as well.

"What is wrong with this place lately?" Palpatine howled in anger. "Nothing works!! First there is no power and now some fool is using all the water!!"

The way things were going, there would be a food shortage next and Palpatine decided he best stock up before that disappeared as well!

000

After spending the entire afternoon caring for his pet and having a wonderful mental communication, Luke came inside.

"Luke, where have you been?" Vader asked, relieved that his son appeared to be in one piece. "Have you been feeding that pet of yours electricity again? You are causing power failures all over the planet!"

"But he gets hungry!" Luke exclaimed wide-eyed. "If you have a pet, its your responsibility to care for it!"

The Sith Lord sighed and hoped Palpatine didn't discover Luke was behind the blackouts.

Author's Note: OK, maybe this wasn't exactly a Luke/Vader story but it shows that Luke still has his pet and the affect that Godzilla is having on Coruscant. Hopefully the bits with Palpy were funny. Oh, and I updated my profile as well.


End file.
